Thought the Turdies would get a kick out of this.
This is an actual email I found in my junk folder from last week some time...
270 Park Avenue, 39th Floor New York, 10017
JP Morgan Chase Bank New York.
REF: PAYMENT NOTIFICATION OF US$10.500,000.00
I am Jamie Dimon,Chief Executive Officer, President and Member of Operating
Committee, JP Morgan Chase & Co, set up to fight against scam and Fraudulent
This Group is responsible for investigating the legitimacy of unpaid contract,
inheritance and lotto winning claims by companies and individuals and directs
payment of verified claims to the beneficiaries without further delay.
You are being legally contacted regarding the release of your long awaited
fund. After a detailed review of your file, the Halifax Bank UK has mandated
the JP MORGAN CHASE BANK to release your fund immediately. The sum of US
USD10.5Million has been approved in your favor via my desk. This payment will
be effected through Swift Telegraphic Transfer.
You are advised to Include the following information. Your Full Name? Your
Address? Your Private Cell Phone Number? Your Account Name? Your Bank Name /
Address? Your Account Numbers? Your Routing Numbers? Your Age/ Marital Status?
Your Occupation/ Position? Copy of your International Passport or Valuable
Drivers License? for reconciliation with Information forwarded to the bank by
Your Prompt Co-operation is highly imperative.
Thanks for Banking with us.
Mr. Jamie Dimon.
Executive Chairman, Chief Executive Officer,
President and Member of Operating Committee, JPMorgan Chase & Co
Well smack my ass and call me Denise, the one man on Wall Street that should be bound, shackled and blowing Bubbles in upstate NY is actually out fighting fraud (yes, fraud, kids..it's a serious crime Mr Dimon knows very well) and found the time to email little, poor ole me and grace me with such a wonderful surprise! I'm rich! I'm rich! Hey, maybe I can redeem my $10.5M in physical silver right from their vault!!??!?!??!
There are SO many ways to run with this one. Have fun.