Scenario 1 (or should it be #2)
So you got your Berkey, 500# of wheat/rice/beans, a storage shelf overflowing with mountain house goodies, a beautiful solar array with a 5ft high stack of UPSs, a matrix style duffel bag of weapons with plenty of ammo etc. etc.
You are feeling pretty good about your preps, so you grab your SAS survival guide and go hit the throne for a little light reading. After finishing up the chapter on creating a solar still to collect/purify drinking water you set the book down and proceed to your usual clean up routine. That’s when it hits you. You never stocked up on toilet paper. With your pants down around your ankles you stare dumbfounded at the last fresh roll you may see for months.
Fear not fellow turdites. Here’s the OSPS method that can stretch that glorious last roll until we get to the point were Walmart is back open and excepting Silver Keiser’s or Turdbuck’s.
Remove a single piece of TP as set it out on the counter
Fold in half, corner to corner
Fold over again, corner to corner along the crease
Tear out a small circle right were all folded edges meet.
Unfold the large piece and set the small piece to the side for now (IMPORTANT: do no lose the small piece)
Now, insert finger of choice through the hole in the TP like such
The next step is difficult to catch on camera by ones self, so I will let you use your imagination (your welcome)
OK, all done, clean as a whistle.
So now, with your opposing hand, fold the edges of the TP around your newly soiled finger as follows
Apply a fair and equal amount of pressure (think firm handshake) to all sides of the offending finger and gradually pull up while apply a slight torque vector!
Go slow during final separation from the finger. A snapping motion can cause serious unwanted side affects.
Now, remember that tiny piece that i told you to not lose, hope you still got it.
Final detail and inspection.