Turdland Jobs Forum (for Mutual Benefit & Assistance)

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#1 Mon, Apr 16, 2012 - 2:02pm
Joined: Sep 26, 2011

Turdland Jobs Forum (for Mutual Benefit & Assistance)

I know this is not, strictly speaking, the focus of this site, but I figured it could fit into the broader mandate of collaboration and mutual assistance. It would be nice to be able to live off the dividends of our skyrocketing mining investments :-) or obscene trading profits, but I personally am not there yet, and must continue to earn a salary.

I know this is not, strictly speaking, the focus of this site, but I figured it could fit into the broader mandate of collaboration and mutual assistance. It would be nice to be able to live off the dividends of our skyrocketing mining investments :-) or obscene trading profits, but I personally am not there yet, and must continue to earn a salary.

While the economy as a whole continues to go through the throes of systemic, structural difficulties, there are sectors that are still or once again viable. I consider the community here in Turdland to be significantly ahead of the curve, and am sure we have a lot of talent to offer. Conversely, I am hoping others will step up and share their position ideas/staffing needs. My company has a dozen positions open that I am personally aware of in my division (and thousands more in general elsewhere). I know that anyone can search online and find pretty much anything (including my recommendations below), but it is exactly the overload of results that often makes it difficult to find/select/apply for the ONE right position that will be right for any given person. And given a choice, I would rather work with/for/alongside Turdites.

So, without further ado:
Leading software/technology company


Marketing / Market Research / MarComm / Research Analytics / Social Media Research - Greater Seattle area:
Search keyword: CMG

Retail - US-wide:
Search keyword: store

Everything else everywhere else: whatever YOUR expertise is, wherever you may be

As mentioned, there are a LOT of open positions beyond the ones I personally know of - not just in the US but globally as well. Being an employee, there are very real limits as to what and how much I can disclose, but can give general background, expectations, process pointers, cultural impressions, etc. What I CAN say is that I am very much impressed by the quality of people and life offered by the firm. Benefits are extensive, and depending on level/experience may include full-service relocation, legal assistance, housing assistance, etc. Requirements and expectations are VERY high, please don't expect me to endorse or recommend anyone I don't know personally. But by the same token, my wife recently went to a career advice seminar where they told her applying for jobs online is a waste of time -- I can personally vouch for the falsehood of that statement, at least for this kind of environment.

Good luck, happy hunting. If appropriate, please share job openings you are aware of so qualified Turdites may be among the applicants.

Edited by: JY896 on Nov 8, 2014 - 5:27am
Mon, Apr 16, 2012 - 3:34pm
Joined: Jun 14, 2011


Unfortunately, I'm not in a position to offer any job-referrals ... but I applaud your aims.

Mon, Apr 16, 2012 - 3:48pm
Joined: Nov 11, 2011

Ideas bank for small businesses/self employment

Perhaps we can share ideas for setting up small businesses as well. There must be lots of smart little businesses that are doing well, but are not in every town or neighborhood, that can be replicated without years of training or large capital requirement.

With a good idea the average Turdite, who is savvy yet still needs to bring in cash (and bacon), could make a go of something in their area.

I am attempting to do this right now, with an idea lifted from a couple that I lived next door to. I am now quite far from them and will be not be in competition with them. It's nothing new or exciting, but they have honed their business model over the years and it generates very good income.

Turdite Ideas Bank - give freely and take what you need. Thoughts ideas?

Mon, Apr 16, 2012 - 4:35pm Excalibur
Patriot Family
Seattle, WA
Joined: Mar 10, 2012

I find myself in the position

I find myself in the position of hunting for a full time job, so this is a very welcome addition. My main area of focus is large scale call center and customer service operations. I think it would also be wise to post if you are looking for a job and your area of expertise so if the rest of us see something we can alert you.

Seller of high quality, Thrive brand freeze dried storage foods: www.freezedriedpantry.com
Tue, Apr 17, 2012 - 3:58am
Joined: Sep 26, 2011

Biological sciences & automotive manufacturing & others

Global reach in placing the highest tier of bio-sci experts (serious qualifications needed):


While the automotive industry is ailing (and perhaps ultimately in terminal decline?), the best of the best will always be sought after in metalforming. Michigan and Indiana jobs only for now, though they do indicate having positions at a few other locations worldwide soon:


As wealth inequality grows, and low-cost manufacturing in the US (relative to German labor prices) becomes ever more a reality, this may be more viable an option than you would think:


Social media, marketing, PR, development, software engineering, sales - NY, TX, UK and select EU locations:


Market research and related services - global:


Tue, Apr 17, 2012 - 7:32am
Sterling, VA
Joined: Jun 15, 2011


Commercial and Federal consulting: https://sj.tbe.taleo.net/SJ6/ats/careers/searchResults.jsp?org=WINDWARDITS&cws=1

(Enter my name as referral source and I promise I'll spend the referral bonus on ASEs)

AD/LDAP Consultant Contractor
Bladelogic Server Automation Engineer Chantilly, VA Full Time
BMC Atrium CMDB Senior Consultant Herndon, VA Full Time
BMC Atrium CMDB Senior Consultant Atlanta, GA Full Time
BMC Atrium Orchestrator Consultant Herndon, VA Full Time
BMC Remedy Senior Consultant Full Time
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CA Service Desk Manager Senior Consultant Virginia Beach, VA Full Time
Cloud Architect Herndon, VA Full Time
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Implementation Coordinator Fairfax, VA Full Time
ITSM Tech Lead Kansas City, MO Full Time
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Jr. Automation Consultant Herndon, VA Full Time
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Lead Test Engineer Virginia Beach, VA Full Time
Netcool SME Consultant San Antonio, TX Full Time
Network Engineer Fairfax, VA Full Time
OSS Engineer Ft. Belvoir, VA Contractor
Pre-Sales Engineer Herndon, VA Full Time
Probe Integration Engineer Ft. Meade, MD Full Time
Project Manager Contractor
Remedy ITSM Engineer Chantilly, VA Full Time
Remedy ITSM Engineer Herndon, VA Full Time
Senior BMC Asset Management Consultant Atlanta, GA Full Time
Senior Business Analyst - Fulfillment Fairfax, VA Contract to Permanent
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Senior EMS Consultant Herndon, VA Full Time
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Senior ITSM Consultant Atlanta, GA Full Time
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VMWare Consultant Contractor
Web Portal Developer Contractor
Tue, Apr 17, 2012 - 12:42pm
Joined: Sep 26, 2011

Welcome on board, Scott!

Way to come out of the shadows to contribute. Thanks, mate.

Tue, Apr 17, 2012 - 6:13pm
Joined: Sep 26, 2011

@ Excalibur - re: business ideas

I think it's a great idea in principle, not sure how it would look like in practice. But we can give it a try.

As an example, it is damn near impossible to get good quality, European style bread here in the US. You can find some reasonable facsimiles -- for around $4-5 a pound.

I can bake that for somewhere around $1 incl. energy costs, esp. if more than one in the oven. Add to that an upscale (or wannabe upscale) suburban environment, a commitment from a few dozen houses to receive delivery of hot, fresh-from the oven bread each morning (with pre-payment after an initial trial). Kids do delivery.

Commercial grade oven:$500 and up

Yeast, flour, water -- need to have around the house anyway.

Boldness to be willing to go door to door to build initial customer base is needed, but WOM carries it after that.

Wed, Apr 18, 2012 - 2:24am
Joined: Nov 11, 2011

Ideas Bank - Create a local business advertiser

Check out https://www.the-bulletin.co.uk/

This business is based in rural South Scotland. I estimate it makes about $5600 net/month. It has taken several years to build up to this level.

The model:

1. Choose a geographical area that has a sense of 'local identity'. That means an area in which customers will travel within to shop/use services and service providers will travel to customers (eg carpet cleaning). (the company above distributes to 12000 homes, the free brochure is delivered by the mailman).

2. Check there is not an existing quality advertiser delivered to every house in the area.

3. Do as much market research as you can to see if there is a need.

4. If yes, work out the costs and pricing.

5. Create a colourful layout and include a what's on listing and maybe a competition.

6. The above business publishes a new bulletin EVERY month. That may be too often for a start up. But that is how they make the income they do and obviously enough advertisers are happy to pay. With regular publication the advertisers can push seasonal lines, special offers, or vouchers.

Please feel free to ask any more questions. I am between stage 3 and 4 in my area.

Wed, Apr 18, 2012 - 4:59am
Somewhere over the rainbow
Joined: Jun 14, 2011

Making bread ? Love this

Making bread ? Love this simple way for first timers :)

First Time Bread Making
"I found a flaw in the model that I perceived is the critical functioning structure that defines how the world works." - Alan Greenspan, October 2008 WTF ! Now you tell us !!!
Wed, Apr 18, 2012 - 1:31pm
Joined: Jun 14, 2011

Promising Addition

to Turdville, every bit helps

Learn to behave
Thu, Apr 19, 2012 - 3:11am
Joined: Jun 15, 2011

A Deposit in the Bank

I'm guessing there are many people here who have either chosen to, or were forced to leave their once- familiar ways of earning a living. It's happening to several people just in my sphere of life (including me!) and from the number of hat tips Excalibur received for suggesting an "Idea Bank"in a Turdland Jobs Forum... well, I think we've struck gold! Well done, JY896! Turd has (Voodoo, perhaps?) managed to attract a certain kind of readership, and I look forward to future posts from "You People"!

I knew about 10 years ago I wanted to leave my job of 22 years, so I've had time to sort some things out.

There are tests available in books, and tests that are given that can help steer one in a direction that may be best suited for them. I remember taking a test in a book at a friend's house one weekend that helped me get a better picture of what my strong/ natural tendencies were, and the knowlege was extremely useful. I have recently learned of legit testing companies that, for a fee, can give one a fairly comprehensive scope of one's self. I haven't ever taken one of those, but it sounded interesting. ( I'm rambling; it's late!)

Anyway, I am 3 years in to being a professional guardian, and I find the work very rewarding. All I know about is Florida Law, and even within the state, each county has different laws regarding it, so I KNOW each state will have its own set of definitions and guidelines. Anyone wanting information on this subject, please visit the National Guardianship Association's website at www.guardianship.org. From what I've observed locally, more mature people gravitate to this job because it does entail a healthy dose of responsibility, as well as and an ability to draw from experience and good common sense! Good communication skills helpful! REQUIREMENTS: Over 18 and never been convicted of a felony.

Due to Boomers making up the majority in the demographics, "Senior Care" is a field worth investigating for employment. (OMG... can we find a new name for that? I'm not all that far away from that age, and I CAN'T STAND that "Name"!)

I love exclamation points!


Mon, Apr 23, 2012 - 3:41pm
Joined: Sep 26, 2011

Changing careers - startups

Thanks for sharing your experience, Candygram. This is a challenge I think many of us cognizant of the unsustainability of the status quo face. I for one am very eager to shift, but am tied by particular circumstance to my current industry/career/job for at least the next year or so. Just have to hope the wheels stay on for that much longer...

One of the main avenues I am eyeing is starting up a business of my own, that I can do on the side while still attending my 'day-job'. The circumstances mentioned above prevent me from (legally) doing this right now, but in case others out there are in a position to make a move, here are a few links to peruse in terms of securing funding:







Tue, Apr 24, 2012 - 11:05pm J Y
Patriot Family
Seattle, WA
Joined: Mar 10, 2012

Changing Careers - startups

JY896, you are hitting on an important topic here. While I am searching for a job, my wife and I are also creating a small startup company that involves retail web sales of an in-demand class of products. We refuse to be caught in a situation again where we don't have a second stream of income. We're starting off as an LLC here in the USA, and making excellent progress. I don't want to go into too many details because it may bore some of you, but I'll share a couple of points we've had to overcome.

1. Start up costs are higher than we thought. We are probably going to spend double our original estimates to getting things off the ground. Licensing, permits, legal fees and trademark fees are a bit more than we estimated. We want to run a completely honest/ethical business, and get that all taken care of up front. Bottom line, unless you are a hobbyist that claims small profits on a hobby related business, the barriers to entry are higher than expected.

Note: You need to be very, very careful with a startup - local and state governments are getting much better at catching folks, fining them and shutting them down if they skipped getting their licenses and registering their business properly.

2. Financing is an issue. We have contemplated a micro loan from the SBA, but we don't qualify based on a couple of requirements. I have the money to buy our initial inventory (which holds it's value very well at the wholesale level for collateral purposes), but I wanted to go in with even more inventory and a bit more marketing. Getting a loan for $10K-$25K has been problematic. I'm thinking we're going to need to go the private loan route at a slightly higher interest rate and guarantee the principal with PMs as collateral held in a bank box. Also, we're exploring Proper.com as a loan source. Otherwise, we'll just deal with the capital we have on hand.

Anyway, if you are opening a small business and you strongly feel there is an outlet for your product or service (verified by market research) then there is no time like the present to get going on it. Connect with me via email here if you want more information on how we're going about the setup process and experiences with vendors like LegalZoom, web shopping carts,business identity designers, etc. We are scheduled to go live in July. Finally!

Seller of high quality, Thrive brand freeze dried storage foods: www.freezedriedpantry.com
Wed, Apr 25, 2012 - 9:13pm
Hard Rain
Joined: Jun 14, 2011

I am hiring for this position now.....


This is a link to one of the positions I referred to in the main thread:



Thu, Apr 26, 2012 - 2:57am
Patriot Family
Seattle, WA
Joined: Mar 10, 2012

A hint on attracting recruiters via LinkedIn...

I wanted to post a three part LinkedIn strategy I've used successfully in the past to attract the attention of recruiters and land interviews. This ultimately led to a few great offers during my last job hunt.

1. Update your profile to present an extensive, accurate resume. Having a comprehensive profile posted may rattle a few cages when it comes to privacy concerns, but it does help to attract attention to your qualifications and capabilities. You can always tone it down after you land a job.

2. Join LinkedIn groups related to the industry you are experienced and/or interested in. Then respond to ongoing discussions within those groups with well reasoned and unbiased answers. I have joined roughly 25 groups related to the contact center/customer care industry, and have seen numerous employees at major companies posting questions. They need help and advice. While you'll see lots of responses from sales people, you'll also see genuinely insightful responses from seasoned professionals. Those high value responses are seen by recruiters and executives perusing the forums, and it will get you noticed if you really know your stuff. Important hint: be sure to type up your response in MS Word or other software where spell check is offered, and then copy it into your LinkedIn response field. You do not want to post any responses with spelling or grammatical mistakes.

While this is a strategy to attract attention to my experience, it also serves to help others in need when they can't figure something out. Over the past few years I've found the experience so enjoyable that I just keep doing it even while employed. The "friends" I've made on the site have also proven to be long term active connections.

3. In my thank you notes to interviewers and recruiters, I include a personal business card with my LinkedIn profile listed. This is also in my personal email signature. It's amazing to see those folks actually reviewing your LinkedIn profile (some of them will send invitations to connect), and it serves to keep your name and profile in front of key decision makers.

Try it. If you need more info, please connect with me via PM.

Best of luck in pursuing future opportunities!


p.s. - don't forget to update your profile with your contact parameters. If you display "Interested in career opportunities" in your profile, I believe recruiters are more apt to connect with you.

Seller of high quality, Thrive brand freeze dried storage foods: www.freezedriedpantry.com
Thu, Apr 26, 2012 - 3:18am
Mariposa de Oro
NoWhere Atoll
Marshall Islands
Joined: Jul 8, 2011

Marshall Islands jobs

Here is where I work. Check out the jobs. I can answer any questions. I've been here almost five years.


Thu, Apr 26, 2012 - 4:53am
Joined: Sep 26, 2011

Thanks to all...

...for contributing. I see this forum as a no-brainer, win-win proposition -- a chance for employers to get access to a (relatively speaking) highly qualified set of potential applicants - or at least ones who are likely to be smarter than the average bear. Current employees stand a chance to attract like-minded co-workers, and those Turdites looking for jobs are able to find qualified positions, with access to more background information than if they were going in blind.

@ Patriot Family -- absolutely agree on the importance of the proper use of LinkedIn. It is also potentially a good tool for developing leads - if you know the type of company/location you intend to go for, contacting people in your field to explore openings is a viable option. No, not always resulting in an offer, but almost always in a contact for the future.

On the flipside, for those using LinkedIn, Facebook and/or recruiting sites and any other social network -- it apparently is also becoming a very active part of recruiting 'due diligence'. Beyond not posting outrageous party pics, it is also important that ALL aspects of ones' digital resume match exactly.

Last but not least, consider the fact that resumes/profiles are selected first by machines searching for keywords/terms. Perhaps an obvious point, but nevertheless often overlooked. Even after a resume makes it to a recruiters/hiring manager's desk, the standard initial time spent on a person's life's work is around 30 seconds -- you definitely have to make sure you capture the attention and imagination of the reader.

@ Mariposa -- your island seems like the tropical paradise I have long dreamed of living in. I am sure it is not as worry/downside-free as the brochure pics make it out to be, but nevertheless I can't help but be a little jealous.

I am really glad to see new members stepping up as well as 'old hands'. This is a lot more challenging to keep 'active' as a forum than I initially calculated - there are only so many job req's or pieces of career advice a single person can share, and a forum by definition needs recurring, communal discussion to live. Thanks again to all for sharing.

Fri, May 4, 2012 - 2:36pm
Joined: Sep 26, 2011


So, there are cheery articles proclaiming that despite hardship and 'slowdown' there are still jobs out there... Makes me wish that I had a real trade skill -- for example, welding comes in VERY handy in all kinds of situations.

But, on the off chance this may be useful to someone:

1. American Crystal Sugar Industry: Manufacturing Sample job titles: Electrician, millwright, electronic controls technician, engineer, general laborer, boiler house, IT specialist, machinist Location: Drayton, N.D.; Grand Forks, N.D.; Moorhead, Minn.; Crookston, Minn.; Sidney, Mont.

2. Austal USA Industry: Maritime Sample job titles: Class A: aluminum structural fitter, aluminum structural welder, electrician, fitout tradesman, pipe fitter, pipe welder, senior network engineer, pipe manager Location: Mobile, Ala.

3. Community Health Systems Industry: Health care/information technology Sample job titles: Data center manager, IT enterprise architect, director of clinical information systems, health care IT application analyst, storage area network engineer, database administrator, clinical information systems team lead, McKesson application specialist, senior business intelligence analyst, financial application analyst Location: Nashville, Tenn.; Birmingham, Ala.

4. ConAm Management Industry: Property management Sample job titles: Leasing consultant, assistant manager, community manager, help desk support, maintenance technician, business manager, groundskeeper, housekeeper, director Location: Nationwide (mostly West Coast)

5. Del Monte Foods Industry: Consumer packaged goods Sample job titles: Associate brand manager, brand manager, senior brand manager, business intelligence developer, director -- digital strategy, senior manager, shopper marketing, business development analyst -- strategy planning Location: Pittsburgh; San Francisco; Walnut Creek, Calif.; San Ramon, Calif.; Terminal Island, Calif.

6. Elsevier Industry: Printing/publishing Sample job titles: Senior content strategist, technical product manager, sales manager Location: New York, Georgia, California, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, Missouri

7. GAITS Industry: Information technology Sample job titles: Cyber security, systems administration, help desk, scientific computing, programmer, database administrator, information assurance, information technology infrastructure Location: Albuquerque, N.M.; Livermore, Calif.; Washington, D.C.; Amarillo, Texas; Denver

8. Luby's Industry: Restaurant/food service Sample job title: Restaurant manager Location: Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas

9. NRG Energy Industry: Energy Sample job titles: Energy marketing manager, staff accountant, director -- public relations and communications Location: California, New Jersey, Texas

10. Patterson Dental Supply
Health care/dental Sample job titles: Territory sales representative, service technician, customer service, management, technical support representative Location: Nationwide

11. Paychex Industry: Accounting/finance, banking/financial services Sample job titles: Sales representative -- retirement services, sales representative -- core payroll, sales representative -- human resource solutions, district sales manager -- human resource solutions, payroll specialist, client service representative, business systems analyst, project manager -- business development, IT project manager Location: Nationwide

12. Trax International Industry: Government/defense, technical services Sample job titles: Telecommunication engineer, air-conditioning maintenance mechanic, computer systems analyst, parachute rigger, internal compliance auditor, Web developer/designer Location: Las Vegas; Yuma, Ariz.; Aberdeen, Md.; Greenbelt, Md.; Norman, Okla.; El Paso, Texas; Sterling, Va.; Lynchburg, Va.

13. Viaero Wireless Industry: Telecommunications Sample job titles: Retail sales associate, retail store manager, billing support specialist, cell site technician, indirect account executive, customer service representative Location: Nebraska, Colorado, Kansas

14. Yale Enforcement Services Industry: Security Sample job titles: Security officer, security guard, security site supervisor Location: Illinois, Florida, Kansas, Nebraska, South Carolina, Texas, Tennessee

15. Yelp Industry: Sales, advertising Sample job titles: Account executive, inside sales -- advertising sales Location: Scottsdale, Ariz.; San Francisco; New York

Tue, May 8, 2012 - 11:46pm
Patriot Family
Seattle, WA
Joined: Mar 10, 2012

Just  a quick update. 

Just a quick update. Starting to get calls back from recruiters. That's good news. I found that updating my resume on the major job sites seems to trigger more views from recruiters. Removing my resume and then reinserting it keeps it from getting stale and keeps me near the top of the massive lists of resumes posted from job seekers. Some recruiters will not search older resumes that have been posted for an extended period of time. The specialized recruiters (i.e., technology) will generally not look at resumes posted more than 90 days ago. Or so I've been told.

Our sideline business is about 75% ready for launch. Our product lines are slowly being fleshed out. Just had an interesting conversation with state agricultural authorities on the rules for selling sealed shelf stable foods as part of our business plan. It seems like their safety rules are designed to make it harder to carry these product lines rather than ensuring the safety of the product. Thankfully, we've already got agreements locked in with three suppliers to drop ship for us on those products. The only reason I've mentioned this is because I saw some other folks on this site considering opening a baking business. There is no faster way to incur the wrath of local, state and even federal authorities than ignoring those facility rules and safety requirements - unless you plan to sell at outdoor festivals, etc. where the rules may be relaxed.

I'm taking a road trip out west to ID and perhaps eastern WA state and northwest MT. Would love to meet up with any TFMR folks in those areas as that is a geographical area we're interested in moving to. In much prayer about this!

Seller of high quality, Thrive brand freeze dried storage foods: www.freezedriedpantry.com
Thu, May 17, 2012 - 12:09am
Joined: Sep 26, 2011

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