DOTS....

23981 posts / 0 new
Last post
atarangi
atarangi's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/03/2011
Hat Tips: 22597
Posts: 4025
G.L.s (Ghetto Life) spelling contest.

Not many people here realise that Green Lantern has devoted much of his life to teaching underprivileged  black children correct use of English. Leroy is  G.L.s best pupil. This is Leroy's homework assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.

1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tell everybody.
2. Dictate - My girlfriend say my dictate good.
3. Catacomb - I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man, somebody get that catacomb.
4. Foreclose - If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.
5. Rectum -I had two Cadillac's, but my bitch rectum both.
6. Disappointment - My parole officer tol'me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint.
7. Penis - I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.
8. Israel - Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "man, it look fake." He say, "Bullshit Bro, dat watch israel".
9 . Undermine - There's a fine lookin' ho living in the apartment undermine.
10. Acoustic - When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic, and took me to the poolhall.
11. Iraq - When we got to the poolhall, I tol' my uncle; iraq, you break.
12. Stain - My mother-in-law stopped by and I axed her, "Do you plan on stain for dinner?"
13. Fortify - I axed this ho on da street, "how much?" she say "fortify."
14. Income - I just got in bed wif da ho and income my wife.

Furthering your education with Today's Ebonic word: Today's word is: "OMELETTE"
Let us use it in a sentence; "I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide."

__________________

In high tide fish eat the ants, in low tide ants eat the fish. - Thai proverb

atarangi
atarangi's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/03/2011
Hat Tips: 22597
Posts: 4025
mission accomplished?

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, “You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?”

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, “Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?”

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.

Saint Peter is suitably impressed. “You really ARE Einstein!” he says. “Welcome to heaven!”

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.

Picasso asks, “Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?”

Saint Peter says, “Go ahead.”

Picasso erases Einstein’s equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.

Saint Peter claps. “Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!” he says. “Come on in!”

Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, “Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?”

George W. looks bewildered and says, “Who the fuck are Einstein and Picasso?”

Saint Peter sighs and says, “Come on in, George.”

__________________

In high tide fish eat the ants, in low tide ants eat the fish. - Thai proverb

atarangi
atarangi's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/03/2011
Hat Tips: 22597
Posts: 4025
Only in America

.......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

......do stores make the sick walk all the way to the

back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

.......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

......do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

__________________

In high tide fish eat the ants, in low tide ants eat the fish. - Thai proverb

atarangi
atarangi's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/03/2011
Hat Tips: 22597
Posts: 4025
Has anyone ever wondered?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid

made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why

don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

__________________

In high tide fish eat the ants, in low tide ants eat the fish. - Thai proverb

AGXIIK
AGXIIK's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/11/2012
Hat Tips: 14369
Posts: 986
Ata Only in France and America

Donald Trump's wife Melania is 24 years younger than her husband

Emmanuel Macron wife Brigitte is  24 years older than her husband

__________________

AGXIIK

Green Lantern
Green Lantern's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/15/2011
Hat Tips: 45643
Posts: 7415
When I write a post, and

When I write a post, and refer to something that is not there, that means something is missing.  For whatever reason, pictures didn't show up? 

Do you remember this moment in time?   

And then I referred to a man that all modern presidents, including Hillary during the election went to for coaching.  You know his business.  

Now see what they are trying to do?   

You see what he is doing here?  

My God, I think he is trying to bring the world together while running for the next President of the United States.      

Now take it from me, especially if you have read none of the books on the cognitive sciences.   He IS going to say all the right things.   

A little survey was done on DOTS prior to the election.   Asking you which family would you rather see in the White House for the next four years?  That was Magpie bringing it on. 

Little did she know, and I know she didn't, that little trick is one of the Weapons of Influence.

So based on that same line of thinking, I ask you, 

Which woman would you rather see as First Lady?  
 

Her? 

or her? 

Stand back AMERICA!!

Green Lantern just became a VOTER!!!

Mexican Weather Girl Ain't shit. 

waxybilldupp
waxybilldupp's picture
Offline
Joined: 08/10/2011
Hat Tips: 6765
Posts: 592
GL ...

Finally took the time to sort out the Dakota Club confusion (not that anyone else in DOTS give a rats butt).

The original Dakota was located in Bandana Square in St. Paul, not too far from the state fair grounds.  Opened sometime in the 1980's.  That's where I remember it from as that's where it was the last time  I was there.  In 2002, it moved to the Nicolett Mall in Minneapolis.  I've never been to that location.  Hence the confusion.

OK, everyone.  Back to connecting more meaningful DOTS.  Can't thank you enough for your time.

Edit:  Great timing with your post waxy.  No one will notice this one after seeing the post just above.  Kimmie in the White House?  Makes my head spin.  

Edit#2:  Did I say "butt"?  The power of persuasion! 

__________________

Wax off

abguy4
abguy4's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/15/2011
Hat Tips: 14428
Posts: 1781
HMmmmm........

why not?

http://www.newnationalist.net/2018/04/18/the-uncanny-resemblance-of-barbara-bush-to-aleister-crowley/

Green Lantern
Green Lantern's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/15/2011
Hat Tips: 45643
Posts: 7415
waxybilldupp wrote: Finally

waxybilldupp wrote:

Finally took the time to sort out the Dakota Club confusion (not that anyone else in DOTS give a rats butt).

The original Dakota was located in Bandana Square in St. Paul, not too far from the state fair grounds.  Opened sometime in the 1980's.  That's where I remember it from as that's where it was the last time  I was there.  In 2002, it moved to the Nicolett Mall in Minneapolis.  I've never been to that location.  Hence the confusion.

OK, everyone.  Back to connecting more meaningful DOTS.  Can't thank you enough for your time.

Edit:  Great timing with your post waxy.  No one will notice this one after seeing the post just above.  Kimmie in the White House?  Makes my head spin.  

Edit#2:  Did I say "butt"?  The power of persuasion! 

Well, I give a rats butt because whenever I've travelled around the country, I visit the venue's of America's only traditional art form.    I've walked by the Dakota dozens of times, but never was interested in the artists that were appearing although they do book top artists.  My timing not good.  

A friend tells me there is a healthy jazz scene around the twin cities and it doesn't only appear in the jazz clubs.  

This is how I am reading the whole Kanye West/Kim Kardashian President Trump thing.   For that matter Jay Z Obama thing he had going.   

Now I wouldn't hold my breath that he becomes President of the United States although he seems to have Mad Skill.  I was reading up on him yesterday.   And I think this meme running around of a GoldenAge is going to be short lived because we are approaching "shit hits the fan" points in time.  

Nor do I think this is NOTHING which is probably how it is registering in some people's heads.  

ya see in 68, when MLK was assisinated, Johnson was dealing with the possibility of riots and social upheavels.  So he called James Brown, on the CIA watch list for being too influential especially among black folks, and asked him to do something about it.   Brown told people to calm the hell down.   Lesson: Have pop figures with lots of influence on your team.  

Obama had JayZ and Beyonce.  That was no accident.  It was propoganda stunt.  

So here Trump is in the middle of a very racially charged atmosphere with constant charges of racism.  Suddenly this women out of the blue calls out the Black Lives Movement.  Kanye jumps on it and brings it to national attention.   Kanye's superstar status just took two leaps forward.   

I'm guessing that meeting at Trump tower was Trump recruiting a celebrity with mega persuasion skills to help out.  He was called in.  

2024 is a loong ways away and we are dealing with unseen power currents of people that want to take charge and stay in charge for a loong time.   Kayne is serial posting causing a conversation with eye's on by the media.    Never liked the guys attitude or do I care for that kind of music but that has nothing to do with nothing.   Now Kim Kardashian is being used.  Who else has more star power as a female?   

It's really top political theater.  I'm not saying it's a bad idea.  It is what it is.  It's quite clever.  

Green Lantern
Green Lantern's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/15/2011
Hat Tips: 45643
Posts: 7415
File Under Medical Tyranny...

File Under Medical Tyranny... Tyranny.....

Absolutely Nuts

http://thefederalist.com/2018/04/26/british-doctor-alfie-evans-must-die-because-his-parents-have-a-bad-attitude/

Green Lantern
Green Lantern's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/15/2011
Hat Tips: 45643
Posts: 7415
AGXIIK,  This just showed up

AGXIIK, 

This just showed up in the neighborhood.  

Any advice? 

Ruffian
Ruffian's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/28/2011
Hat Tips: 19325
Posts: 4899
Clarification.

That was poorly written sentence in my reply to AGX. 

I never lost a child. My "baby" brother is very much alive. He's just amputated his life from mine. 

Sorry for the misleading wording. 

Ruffian
Ruffian's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/28/2011
Hat Tips: 19325
Posts: 4899
Dinner

Dinner, boots, belts, jackets, hats etc .., 

AGXIIK
AGXIIK's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/11/2012
Hat Tips: 14369
Posts: 986
I caught your meaning in the original post

Ruffian   Loss of a loved one that way is often even more painful that the loss through death.  I disassociated  my mother and her husband from my life when she said she'd disown me if I didn't stop seeing my GF, the woman who later became my wife.  There are times when choices, no matter how painful, must be made. The situations are different but the emotions are torn nonetheless

GL.  I just about yacked my brekkie this AM when opening the page to Robbins, Hillary, Kim and others.   There was something about the vividness of the photos that jarred me. 

I know a bit about Robbins and have never trusted him from the jump   He's not getting better looking as he ages.  Kind of that creepy bastard step child of Andre the Giant and Lurch look.   Melania also spooks me a bit.  Then the link to Barbara Bush and her klan. Who's your daddy; Reality TV 2.0

I laughed my ass off at the Sprout videos abguy4  It is almost impossible to square the fact that POTUS 43 is that dumb.  

Funny how the usual suspects in Hollywood can be relied upon to rally their base to support a POTUS.  Kanye?  Dont know much about him.  He and the Kardashians are questionable as best.  The children of Robert K.  

Trump is Hollywood right down to his $1,500 shoes.   It's odd in a funny way that Hollywood wouldn't be totally gaga over Trump.  

I'm 2 for 15 on the rattlesnake gambit, gaining one supporter and 4 more local haters.   

As for the big snake, I see three options

1.  Like Ruffian  said,  snake makes a good meal

2  Get a bigger rock

3.  See if I can become one with the snake without becoming it's dinner

4.  Get a bigger gun.

I dont see running as a good option.  specially with my gimpy knee.  

__________________

AGXIIK

Ruffian
Ruffian's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/28/2011
Hat Tips: 19325
Posts: 4899
This case

is an abomination.! I've been following it since the start,. They were literally letting that child suffocate to death slowly. 

atarangi
atarangi's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/03/2011
Hat Tips: 22597
Posts: 4025
in search of the perfect diet

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.

And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a! regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

------------------------------------------------------ ----------------

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways

- Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO ! What a Ride'

AND......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.   Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

__________________

In high tide fish eat the ants, in low tide ants eat the fish. - Thai proverb

Green Lantern
Green Lantern's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/15/2011
Hat Tips: 45643
Posts: 7415
ata wrote:Q: I've heard that

ata wrote:

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.

And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a! regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

------------------------------------------------------ ----------------

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways

- Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO ! What a Ride'

AND......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.   Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Too Long and Not about Green Lantern. 

If you're smart, you keep your jokes about forum members.  Otherwise they can't relate.  

Work the crowd. Use predictable tactics on predictable people.  Wake UP dude.  

gold way
gold way's picture
Offline
Joined: 04/18/2014
Hat Tips: 541
Posts: 75
At agxiik

What kind of snake? Doesn't look like any boa constrictor I have ever seen

__________________

Goldway

Green Lantern
Green Lantern's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/15/2011
Hat Tips: 45643
Posts: 7415
If they say no, bomb them

If they say no, bomb them into  HELLL

gold way
gold way's picture
Offline
Joined: 04/18/2014
Hat Tips: 541
Posts: 75
Q anon

Seems  Qanon is all about managing expectations of us deplorables  . Now they say trust the plan. Seems to me an attempt to control dissent. I feel that trump is losing ground  and slowly instead of swiftly being marginalized. The setup does not show any grand maneuvers, except steady destruction of America. Dr. Dave Janda really has nothing concrete except hope.  It opened my eyes to the destructive nature of liberalism when I realized the intellectual elite took over the common senses in Germany before the war and Hitler and was the intellectual center of its day. PC was everywhere. We have that today and people who dare try to voice a different point of view are systematically destroyed by ridicule. A very tried and true process that worked before and is working now. I really fear for this country and the future for our children.

__________________

Goldway

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Syndicate contentComments for "DOTS...."