The Cremation of 2013

Mon, Dec 30, 2013 - 1:15pm

* With sincere apologies to Mr. Robert Service

There were strange things done by fluorescent sun

By the Federal Reserve of old

From Treasury pops to secret swaps

That would make your blood run cold

The Wall Street nights have seen strange sights

But the strangest ever, I’m told

Was that year, oh so mean, known as twenty thirteen

When they crushed the price of gold.


Now their program of easing had started a’wheezing

It was growing stale and weak

And they needed QE to infinity since

The economy was bleak

But they knew without doubt if they started to shout

“We’re full-on monetizing!”

They’d see interest explode and the US debt load

Would foil all their devising.


But the chairman stayed cool, he was nobody’s fool

So he didn’t shout or holler

He knew that if he could make gold sell-off

It would hide the foundering dollar

So he issued his orders to sell across borders

And the bullion banks complied

And they sold. And they sold. Paper mountains of gold

And the market recoiled at the tide.


But at some point that paper, despite rumors of taper,

Was a promise to deliver the metal

And the Chinese could see opportunity

And they bought those contracts to settle

Yes, the lower it got the more strongly they bought

For to ship it to the Swiss

To be quietly cast into kilogram bars

Before people noticed something amiss.


Meanwhile, as price was jolting down,

The banks called up the Fed.

“She canna’ take much more of this, Chairman!

When our gold is gone, we’re dead!”

The Chairman, nonplussed, assured “What’s the fuss?

You can raid the GLD.

Plus we’ll sell from OUR vault to avoid a default

But to manage perception is key!”


The banks weren’t assured. They proclaimed “That’s absurd!

Folks will know all those tons came from you!”

But the Chairman’s reply, with a wink of his eye,

Would mollify all but a few:

“We’ve the press on our side, and not to be snide,

But they’ll write whatever we tell them.

Just peddle some tale about the end of the bull

And if people have metals, to sell them.”


So gold and silver sold off, and the analysts scoffed:

Falling prices prove dying demand.

But all the while certain buyers just smiled

And that metal was bought with both hands.


At the end of the year Fed success was clear

With the metals near multi-year lows

And there were no audits, and the Chairman got plaudits

For his “brilliant” tapering pose.

As prepared to retire, the Chairman

Was feted and praised for stock’s gains

And the bankers got paid, politicians got laid,

Life was good in the land of Keynes.


But something was brewing, far over the seas

Dark rumors of debts to be paid

Of currency changes and metals exchanges

And the gold-backed settling of trade

Of six thousand tons imported to China

Or is ten a bit closer-on?

With some privately thinking “The dollar is stinking,

I wonder how it stacks with the Yuan?”


T’was the final day of the Chairman’s reign

His great retirement bash

And every financial tycoon would be there

To toast him (and his free cash)

But the Chairman just couldn’t shake the feeling

Of something weighing on his mind

So impetuously, he’d chosen, before it was frozen

To use his clearance one last time.


He phoned, scratched his beard, then the copter appeared

And whisked him to the gates

He showed his ID for the guards to see

And they shuttled him past the grates.

“Wait here” he said to the watchman inside

“I’d rather go on alone”

And he stepped cautiously, while he fished for the key,

‘Cross the slate-gray quarried stone

And with naught but a lantern, he swung wide the door

And the stale air blew past his face

And he willed his hand to raise the light

For to gaze on his private disgrace.


The vault was old. It was empty and cold

As bleak as the march of Sherman’s.

There were just a measly 200 tons left

And he owed that to the Germans.

The chairman shivered. It had all been delivered

To settle accounts and the score

And he searched in the quiet and could not deny it

The once great hoard was no more.


And to his surprise, he felt starting to rise

A sense of deep dread like a squall

And he thought, in confusion, “Wasn’t this Keynes conclusion?

That this shouldn’t matter at all?”

In the darkness he shouted at his partners in crime

“What of you, Mr. Greenspan? Or Burns?

What of you, Chairman Eccles? Or you, Chairman Miller?

At dis-hoarding, we ALL took our turns!”

But his voice merely echoed through the cavernous vaults

And it sounded a lot like a tomb.

Then the Chairman did see what his legacy would be…

And he quietly left the room.


There were strange things done by fluorescent sun

By the Federal Reserve of old

From Treasury pops to secret swaps

That would make your blood run cold

The Wall Street nights have seen strange sights

But the strangest ever, I’m told

Was that year, oh so mean, known as twenty thirteen

When the last of the wealth was sold.

About the Author


Dec 30, 2013 - 1:23pm

first to read

Dec 30, 2013 - 1:23pm

indeed my blood

is running cold

Urban Roman
Dec 30, 2013 - 1:30pm
TreeTop Dweller
Dec 30, 2013 - 1:45pm

Cremation of 2013


Dec 30, 2013 - 1:48pm

Awesome Pining

So Ben boarded his aircraft

After giving America a stiff shaft

And began to head for the border

Never to return

To the Sovereign People he'd burned

And surrendered to the New World Order

His Legacy you say?

I will tell you today

He is no good, a fraud, a zero

But our congress is too

and all they will do

is raise him up as a hero.

And so Ben I say to you today that I hope you live your life looking over your shoulder, Asshole!

bullion only
Dec 30, 2013 - 1:49pm

Only to continue in 2014?

The million dollar question. What am I thinking? There are no more million dollar questions. That went out with the Kennedy era.

Even billion dollar questions are for amatures.

Trillion is what I'm talking about!

BTW do you accept bitcoins for that?


arch stanton
Dec 30, 2013 - 2:00pm

your stuff

is always amazing, but this takes you to whole new level. Thanks and happy new year to all in Turdville

Dec 30, 2013 - 2:11pm

This has been going on for a

This has been going on for a long time. Can we please agree some benchmarks so we can revisit them in 2014 and agree on whether we were right or wrong? For example, if the Comex is running out of gold etc can we pick a date, and perhaps add a few months or whatever, and say "they ought to have gone bust by now or else we were wrong"? We seem to be saying month after month, year after year, that vaults are empty, the gold has all gone to China, etc and yet we still see slamdowns whenever gold puts on $20 an ounce. What will it take for us to admit that we were wrong?

Dec 30, 2013 - 2:16pm


What is this "we" stuff?

"You" can admit you were wrong and sell all your metal for paper, go for it!

"I" am still thinking "I" am 100% right and the fiat ponzi dollar is going down in a ball of flames.

I think "you" should take a hard look around you. If you don't see collapse everywhere, good for you. Everything is going to be just great!

Dec 30, 2013 - 2:18pm

My blood does run cold

with the realization of the problems we will face in coming years, with the coming collapse of the USD.

Dec 30, 2013 - 2:22pm

Harry Dent

Was on the news saying Gold is going to 700.00. A bought an paid for shill. Told everyone to invest in the dollar.

What a joke.

Dec 30, 2013 - 2:23pm

Not the Top


Somebody please make the pain stop!

EXCELLENT post, by the way.

Dec 30, 2013 - 2:26pm

Canada Post?

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19:49 RICHMOND Item processed
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15:10 VANCOUVER Item picked up by Canada Post Learn More In most cases, we have picked up the item from the shipper and it is now en route to a processing facility. Keep checking Track for updates.
bullion only
Dec 30, 2013 - 2:26pm

Base building trading range.

Base building trading range and this will eventually end, some say 3q 2015, however we must admit we are in a manipulated market and regardless of how we got here, no one put a gun to our heads.

So with that said we either have to be patient and wait and not click kitco every 10 seconds or we have to take our licks and move on.

Personally I have way too much invested in gold but where else am I going to put it.

Banks not safe, stocks looking for a correction maybe, treasuries losing money.

I guess I could just put it under the mattress but to tell you the truth I would have spent it on stupid stuff.

I stack it, I leave it and when I can I get more.

I think by the end of the decade it will be a much different world, if we have that much time, and 2020 will be here in a flash.


Dec 30, 2013 - 2:28pm

Saw an article on google yesterday...

... About how silver was probably going to outperform gold next year. Estimate was silver would hit a whopping $20.20 in 2014 then skyrocket to a dazzling $20.50 in 2015.

And THAT was outperforming gold!

Sorry I no longer have a link. Just too depressing between reading this crap and watching the metals slippin' 'n' slidin' for three years.

Dec 30, 2013 - 2:29pm



Dec 30, 2013 - 2:31pm


what do you mean "admit we are wrong"? your knowledge of history can be enhanced by reading this article.

the US already defaulted (in 1971) and the slow unwinding has been taking place. the gold is just about gone, and the present spasms of the USD will play out , and may take longer than any of us imagined, but play out it will, and the USD will be revalued at a fraction of its present (and low value) in gold terms. your problem is a lack of perspective. Please sell all your metals and smile and be happy, and leave us alone.

Dec 30, 2013 - 2:36pm
Dec 30, 2013 - 2:36pm


Grandich is shorting the market for the fourth time in his career starting today. All three times he shorted the market in the past it crashed.

Dec 30, 2013 - 2:37pm
Dec 30, 2013 - 2:43pm


Awesome, you have talent. What are your predictions for 2014.

Dec 30, 2013 - 2:44pm

Gold In Dire Straits

Unable to hold ground against a fading dollar. $1180 setting up for final break.

Dec 30, 2013 - 2:45pm

@Pining 4 the fijords . . . wow!

Just wow! I thought your Dr. Seuss parody was great, but this . . . this is truly a work of art!

Not only the poetic majesty, but your insights into the machinations of the power-mongers are nonpareil!

And, unfortunately, you are correct. We lived through a second continuous year of the PM's equivalent of Sherman's March to the Sea.

Dec 30, 2013 - 2:52pm


Go on Pining...

Empress Ming:

I'd much rather see you on my side Turd, than scattered into... atoms. You and your pathetic Turdites....hurling your bodies out into the blogosphere void, without the slightest inkling of who or what is out here. If you had known anything about the true nature of the Silver market or the Bullion Banks, anything at all, you would've hidden from it in terror.

Every thousand years, I test each commodity in traded markets. I visit it with mysteries, interventions, unpredicted collapses, strange dumps in the wilderness hours... If these are taken as natural, I judge that system ignorant and harmless - I spare it. But if the Hand of Ming is recognized in these events, I judge that system dangerous to us. I call upon the great god Dimon, and for his greater glory... and for our mutual pleasure... I destroy it utterly.

Luckily we know where this ends Ming....

Paint, anyone?

Dec 30, 2013 - 2:55pm

A presidential quote for our times . . .

"He who permits himself to tell a lie often finds it much easier to do it a second and a third time, till at length it becomes habitual; he tells lies without attending to it, and truths without the world's believing him." -Barack Obama

(oops, I meant Thomas Jefferson)

(quote taken from 321gold site

Dec 30, 2013 - 3:11pm

Cremation 2013

Freezenation 2013

bullion only
Dec 30, 2013 - 3:16pm

Will today be the day?

Will today be the day that GLD takes on a 7 handle?

I believe that it will have a psychological effect.

Like holy shit only 700 and some odd tons left!

I better get mine while I can.


BTW I don't know why I'm suddenly optimistic.

Maybe because I'm doing year end cleaning and it feels so good to throw stuff out.

No dear, not that old paint can. I'm going to bury that.

Dec 30, 2013 - 3:17pm

The UK

Perhaps we could view the recent history of the UK as a predictor of what may unfold in the United States. They already lost reserve currency status a long time ago, but they are still there. There are supermarkets with stocked shelves. The welfare dole continues. They even admit that half their gold has been sold -- and at the bottom of the market. Yet London is still a financial center on a par with New York. There is a vibrant real estate market in England, though with bubble connotations in some areas. Government workers' and social security pensions are still being paid. Is it possible that we are overestimating the effects of financial events unfolding here?

Dec 30, 2013 - 3:27pm

Dstage- Predictions

First of all, thank you (and thanks to everyone for your kind words)! And sure, I will take a stab at a few predictions for 2014- sounds fun! In no particular order:

1. Stock market correction / crash: Google search "Yale Professor Robert Shiller CAPE", his metric of cyclically adjusted price/earnings ratio... in the past 113 years, CAPE has only been above 24 six times, and all six times the market corrected/crashed between 30-80%. Late this fall, CAPE once again rose above 24 and now sits at 25 and change. I think we have a BIG drop in stocks at some point next year, and the over/under is a 40% correction. Also, for the chartists, check the RSI on the Monthly Dow Jones chart... last time it was this high we had a 50% correction. I am short stocks from here.

2. Gold and silver rangebound until correction, then a major haven bid: I could see a nice pop through spring based on TF's strong fundamentals, but my guess is this peters out and we are subject to the same crap we always are... until stocks take a major dive. Initially, G&S will sell off with everything else but will catch a big safe-haven bid and leave stocks in the dust. Silver closes 2014 above 30, Gold above 1700.

3. Socialist Elizabeth Warren will be trotted out as an increasingly plausible 2016 Dem presidential candidate, usurping Hillary. Fauxcahontas (look it up if you don't get this reference) will mouth anti-wall street platitudes to try and gain ground with the middle, while actually supporting policies that make Obama look like a free market capitalist. Wecome to your centrally-planned future, comrade!

4. Yellen will first be touted as a savior, and will increasingly become the punching-bag target to deflect blame from the President as things tank.

As always, just my 2c!

Dec 30, 2013 - 3:27pm


Damn it if that wasn't the most perfectly poetic summary of 365 days I've ever seen...

Knowing what we know, when I see folks on mainstream news say with a straight face, "there's no more gold in Western vaults...this is proof the bull market is done!", I can't help but think of how snyly I'm going to smile my grinchy smile at these fools when the last ounce is delivered, and they lose their shirts...


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