Took Off the Tin Hat to Have a Laugh

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Took Off the Tin Hat to Have a Laugh

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply
       alternative meanings for common words
.

       The winners are:

       1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

       2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

       3 . Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

       4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

       5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

       6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
       answer the door in your nightgown.

       7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

       8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

       9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
       over by a steamroller.

        10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

        11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

        12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
       proctologists.

        13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

        14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
       Yiddishisms.

        15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that,
       when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

        16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
       Jewish men.

        The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any
       word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
       one letter, and supply a new definition.

       Here are this year's winners:

        1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
       bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
       little sign of breaking down in the near future.

        2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose
       of getting laid.

        3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
       subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

        4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

        5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
       person who doesn't get it.

        6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running
       late.

        7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

        8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
       credit.)

        9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these
       really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
       like, a serious bummer.

        10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
       consuming only things that are good for you.

       11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

        12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
       when they come at you rapidly.

        13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
       you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

        14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
       bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

        15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
       the fruit you're eating.

        And the pick of the literature:

        16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Edited by admin on 11/08/2014 - 06:24

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